Wednesday, April 28, 2010

These Toys Are Making My Kids Fat!

And just like that, one of the staples of my childhood is GONE.
Earlier today, lawmakers in Santa Clara County, California banned the sale of meals with packaged toys. Do you know what this means?!

Happy Meals are ILLEGAL.

What?! I loved getting toys with my 4 piece chicken nuggets (BEFORE they were 100% white meat might I add; I'm old school). I have so many fond memories of playing with the green army men from Toy Story, or getting some Hot Wheels with my burger, or admiring my mini Beanie Baby while eating those delicious, golden french fries.


Supporters of the bill argue that offering these toys lead children to consume these unhealthy foods almost uncontrollably, and that the elimination of this siren song that is a Star Wars figurine will decrease childhood obesity by no less than 87329%

In all seriousness though, this seems like one more attempt to try to shift blame away from parents and onto some external party, which in this case happens to be fast food restaurants. McDonald's introduced the Happy Meal in 1979 and Burger King followed suit in 1985 with their own version of a kids meal. Both of these offered toys.

I lived through this era and I like to think I'm not fat! Right? ...Right?!

When I was little, I always wanted to eat at some fast food joint. The reason that I'm not 582 pounds, is because my parents had the common sense to say no most of the time. I'm sure most of you experienced a similar situation when you were children.

I feel like most of these parents just didn't take too much responsibility for their children, and when they awoke one morning to find their obese child doing something obese, they cried "DAMN YOU McDONALD'S!!!"

And now we have stupid laws like this one

Isn't California in the middle of a budget crisis? Why are toys in kids meals even an issue right now?

Check out the ABC News video below for the full story:

Great moment of unintentional comedy: The overweight woman about 15 seconds in speaking the following

"You should be ashamed of yourselves for trying to deprive little children of a toy!"

She's just as outraged as I am!!

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Let's Try Something Different...

I've decided to take a different approach to today's post. Instead of writing, I decided to showcase my drawing skills. They rival Van Gogh's if I may say so myself.

My art teachers are MORTIFIED at the poor quality of these drawings, especially in the last panel. That last panel is what I would look like if I had that thought while traveling at approximately 8439mph, or after some freak eighteen-wheeler accident. And I spelled fourteen with an "h." Seriously, my drawing skills are on par with a six year old.

This comic is indeed based on how I live everyday of my life. I even drew this instead of doing the work I need to be doing. Imagine that.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010


Fort Awesome, Harvard YardWhat I want my blog to be (Image by drgandy via Flickr)

I want to be an internet champion.

I want to be known as Jorge, destroyer/saver/destroyer of worlds, champion of the interwebz.

I realize that internet fame doesn't come overnight like a FedEx package, but I'm trying to expedite this process! I'm updating all my social media profiles almost neurotically in hopes that some guy with nothing better to do is all "zomg this dude is hilarious" and he tells a guy who tells a guy who tells a guy who tells his girlfriend who's all "he's really not that funny" and he disagrees and they get into a fight and they break up. I'm trying to be famous enough to destroy the relationships of people I've never met. My kindergarten teacher always told me to dream big.

Seriously though, I even find myself updating my LinkedIn profile. What?! That was what grown ups used before it somehow became acceptable for them to be on Facebook with the rest of us.

I try to update the twitterz lyk alllllll the time. My issue is that I really REALLY don't have anything of interest to say, which is why it's an awful idea to have a blog.

Whateva, whateva, I DO WHAT I WANT!

So if for some reason or another you find yourself on this awful excuse for a web log (I'm trying to sound professional), pass it on! Shout it from the rooftops! Buy a billboard!

Did I just ask you to promote me? Hell yeah I did! I'm trying to become (internet) rich! And then I'll totally use my new found internet clout to get you a hot girlfriend.

Who better think I'm funny too.
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Tuesday, March 23, 2010


Still life - Crazy doctorImage by de² via Flickr

It's spring break 2010, and I couldn't be more bored.

This boredom is unlike any I've ever experienced before. It's almost painful. It's not that lazy summer boredom where you wake up at 11am and go straight to your living room and turn the TV on. I'm aware of things I need to get done and things I'd like to do and yet I can't bring myself to do them. Call me apathetic.

I recently stumbled across my own blog for the first time in a while and became disappointed in myself for not having updated it in over seven months. Women who conceived children on the date of my last post are having baby showers right about now.

After realizing that having spent today watching paint dry would have been more eventful than what has actually transpired in my life today, I realized that I could go back to writing this blog. I know I'm kidding myself, however, as next week I'll be flung back into the rampant madness they call college. I write this post today with no purpose or real topic, for that matter, but I felt like just sitting down and writing, albeit for five minutes, would do me some good. I like to be funny, or at least think I am, during these posts but today I'm not feeling very funny.

I feel bored.
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