Wednesday, April 28, 2010

These Toys Are Making My Kids Fat!

And just like that, one of the staples of my childhood is GONE.
Earlier today, lawmakers in Santa Clara County, California banned the sale of meals with packaged toys. Do you know what this means?!


Happy Meals are ILLEGAL.

What?! I loved getting toys with my 4 piece chicken nuggets (BEFORE they were 100% white meat might I add; I'm old school). I have so many fond memories of playing with the green army men from Toy Story, or getting some Hot Wheels with my burger, or admiring my mini Beanie Baby while eating those delicious, golden french fries.

FUTURE GENERATIONS OF CALIFORNIANS ARE BEING DENIED THESE MEMORIES

Supporters of the bill argue that offering these toys lead children to consume these unhealthy foods almost uncontrollably, and that the elimination of this siren song that is a Star Wars figurine will decrease childhood obesity by no less than 87329%

In all seriousness though, this seems like one more attempt to try to shift blame away from parents and onto some external party, which in this case happens to be fast food restaurants. McDonald's introduced the Happy Meal in 1979 and Burger King followed suit in 1985 with their own version of a kids meal. Both of these offered toys.

I lived through this era and I like to think I'm not fat! Right? ...Right?!

When I was little, I always wanted to eat at some fast food joint. The reason that I'm not 582 pounds, is because my parents had the common sense to say no most of the time. I'm sure most of you experienced a similar situation when you were children.

I feel like most of these parents just didn't take too much responsibility for their children, and when they awoke one morning to find their obese child doing something obese, they cried "DAMN YOU McDONALD'S!!!"

And now we have stupid laws like this one

Isn't California in the middle of a budget crisis? Why are toys in kids meals even an issue right now?

Check out the ABC News video below for the full story:



Great moment of unintentional comedy: The overweight woman about 15 seconds in speaking the following

"You should be ashamed of yourselves for trying to deprive little children of a toy!"

She's just as outraged as I am!!

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Let's Try Something Different...

I've decided to take a different approach to today's post. Instead of writing, I decided to showcase my drawing skills. They rival Van Gogh's if I may say so myself.


My art teachers are MORTIFIED at the poor quality of these drawings, especially in the last panel. That last panel is what I would look like if I had that thought while traveling at approximately 8439mph, or after some freak eighteen-wheeler accident. And I spelled fourteen with an "h." Seriously, my drawing skills are on par with a six year old.

This comic is indeed based on how I live everyday of my life. I even drew this instead of doing the work I need to be doing. Imagine that.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Dreams

Fort Awesome, Harvard YardWhat I want my blog to be (Image by drgandy via Flickr)

I want to be an internet champion.

I want to be known as Jorge, destroyer/saver/destroyer of worlds, champion of the interwebz.

I realize that internet fame doesn't come overnight like a FedEx package, but I'm trying to expedite this process! I'm updating all my social media profiles almost neurotically in hopes that some guy with nothing better to do is all "zomg this dude is hilarious" and he tells a guy who tells a guy who tells a guy who tells his girlfriend who's all "he's really not that funny" and he disagrees and they get into a fight and they break up. I'm trying to be famous enough to destroy the relationships of people I've never met. My kindergarten teacher always told me to dream big.

Seriously though, I even find myself updating my LinkedIn profile. What?! That was what grown ups used before it somehow became acceptable for them to be on Facebook with the rest of us.

I try to update the twitterz lyk alllllll the time. My issue is that I really REALLY don't have anything of interest to say, which is why it's an awful idea to have a blog.

Whateva, whateva, I DO WHAT I WANT!

So if for some reason or another you find yourself on this awful excuse for a web log (I'm trying to sound professional), pass it on! Shout it from the rooftops! Buy a billboard!

Did I just ask you to promote me? Hell yeah I did! I'm trying to become (internet) rich! And then I'll totally use my new found internet clout to get you a hot girlfriend.

Who better think I'm funny too.
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Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Bored.

Still life - Crazy doctorImage by de² via Flickr

It's spring break 2010, and I couldn't be more bored.

This boredom is unlike any I've ever experienced before. It's almost painful. It's not that lazy summer boredom where you wake up at 11am and go straight to your living room and turn the TV on. I'm aware of things I need to get done and things I'd like to do and yet I can't bring myself to do them. Call me apathetic.

I recently stumbled across my own blog for the first time in a while and became disappointed in myself for not having updated it in over seven months. Women who conceived children on the date of my last post are having baby showers right about now.

After realizing that having spent today watching paint dry would have been more eventful than what has actually transpired in my life today, I realized that I could go back to writing this blog. I know I'm kidding myself, however, as next week I'll be flung back into the rampant madness they call college. I write this post today with no purpose or real topic, for that matter, but I felt like just sitting down and writing, albeit for five minutes, would do me some good. I like to be funny, or at least think I am, during these posts but today I'm not feeling very funny.

I feel bored.
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Monday, August 17, 2009

Seriously!?

Green Bay Packers quarterback Brett Favre duri...Image via Wikipedia

If I took a girl out on a date and as a conversation starter she asked me, "What are your pet peeves?" I'd say, "people that chew with their mouth open and Brett Favre."

"Brett Favre?"

"Yeah, Brett Favre."

For the last as long as I can remember, Brett Favre has spent off seasons dropping the idea of possible retirements, only to come back the next season. Recently, he's taken to actually retiring and then coming out of retirement. He did this last summer with the saga between the Packers organization and Favre, and again this summer when Favre started floating around the idea of coming out of retirement again to play with the Vikings. This story ran for the entire summer becuase, in order to keep it interesting, Favre started saying that he wanted to come back but that it depended on his shoulder and the subsequent surgery he would need. While I'm not saying that statement was a lie, I really don't think that Favre had any intention to return to the NFL and that this man has some kind of sick need for attention. The thing is, he'll always have attention. I mean, he is a future hall of fame quarterback. So maybe Favre just has a need to be a page one headliner. This is the only reason I can think that this happened.

Now, the reason I started writing this post wasn't to tell you guys about something that happened a couple of months ago, but rather something that's happening right now. This morning I came in from breakfast and tuned into SportsCenter at the exact right moment, as they were just starting to talk about Brett Favre possibly returning to the Vikings. What?! Again?! Didn't we just go through this? According to several stories I've read regarding the matter, there's a multitude of reasons Favre could still show up in the NFL this season. One of the reasons was that Favre didn't want to do the whole training camp and dorm situation. Now, I could understand wanting to skip out on training camp in order to avoid an injury that could hamper your regular season play (LaDanian Tomlinson frequently does this.) But even then, LT at least declares that he'll play for the Chargers one more season before he skips out on training camp. Favres other reason, the reluctance to do the dorm thing, is what kind of got me thinking a little bit. I mean, isn't Favre supposed to be tight knit with his teammates considering the fact that they're key to Favre's success? Favre can't just step on the field and throw the ball. He has to make sure that his blockers block and his receievers receive. In my eyes, not wanting to dorm with them means he has a reluctance to spend time with them which means that they can't function as well as they should on the playing field.

Another reason I've heard is that Favre is still taking advice from people close to him regarding the matter, and that his decision is far from made. Seriously? I want Brett Favre to make up his mind today. I want Favre to tell me that he is or is not coming back, and I want him to sign a binding contract stating that he can't flip flop on the issue. I want the NFL to draft "The Brett Favre Rule" in which you can only come out of retirement once and you can only pretend to retire twice. If you exceede those limits, you're retirement becomes permanent and the comissioner literally sets it in stone. He'll have a tablet atop his desk entitled "Permanent Retirees" and the name at the very top will be Brett Favre.

Let me know what you think in the comments. Until next time.
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Saturday, August 15, 2009

Give The Kid A Chance

Michael Vick (en), of the Atlanta Falcons (en)...Image via Wikipedia

I had originally intended for this blog to be a daily thing, but between the work of packing for school and trying to squeeze in everything I need to do before I leave, I've realized that this blog is probably going to end up being closer to a weekly thing. Like I said, that was never the plan but I'm still getting up to speed on this whole blogging thing and smoothing out the wrinkles. If I could put a beta tag on this blog, I would.

That little tidbit was just something I wanted to preface this post with before I got to the actual heart of what I'm about to write. As you may or may not know, Michael Vick was given conditional reinstatement into the NFL a couple weeks ago, but had yet to sign with a team. On Thursday night, Michael Vick signed with the Philadelphia Eagles. While I personally was excited that this had happened, it was clear that not everyone felt the same way. For example, Friday's issue of the Philadelphia Daily News featured Michael Vick's face on the front page with the headline "Hide Your Dogs." Not the most welcoming reception. However, some NFL players sent out tweets that were in support of Vick. Shawne Merriman of the San Diego Chargers (@shawnemerriman) wrote: "Just got in from practice and seen on the tube that vick signed a 2 yr deal with the eagles CONGRADS to him." Takeo Spikes of the San Francisco 49ers (@TakeoSpikes51) wrote: "Congrats to Mike Vick for landing on his feet in Philly. He deserves to play, period." Finally, Reggie Bush of the New Orleans Saints (@reggie_bush) wrote: "I think it's great the Mike Vick has signed with the Eagles! Everyone deserves a second chance! The only person who can judge us is God..."

Personally, I agree with these players. While I certainly don't condone what Vick did, the truth is that not only has he served his time, but people have done a lot worse and gotten away with it. Vick does in fact deserve a second chance. If he goes to Philadelphia and starts a new dogfighting ring or commits any other sort of animal cruelty, then by all means kick him out. But for now, I'd rather see people give Vick the chance to be the changed man he says he is and see him in uniform on a football field.

Let me know what you think in the comments below. Until next time.
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Saturday, August 8, 2009

Twitter Fail (Win?)

I haven't been able to update my twitter in a few days (@jorgetheBOSS90) because apparently I play a central role in the Georgia-Russia conflict. While most of twitter seems to be running smoothly again (at least, that's what I've heard from my fellow twitter members), for some

2009AUG070758Image by bootload via Flickr

reason I still lack the ability to send tweets, update my settings, and do just about anything else central to what makes twitter, twitter. So if you're wondering why I haven't tweeted anything in 48 hours, although I don't see why you would considering the fact that right now I possess a commanding 7 followers, three of which are spam bots, there's your answer.

All the other times that twitter has gone down, which apparently happens all too frequently, I haven't really been affected because I don't fall under the category of "twitter addict." Hell, I don't even fall under the category of "heavy user." It just so happened that this DDoS attack occured on the same day I created this blog, and my ability to promote it has been severely hampered as a result. In all seriousness, it would surprise me if even one person is reading this (if you are then welcome! tell your friends!) but this way if this blog ever becomes popular, you'll have mass amounts of reading material to hold you over until I come down from on high with my much sought after new blog post.

But while we're on the topic of twitter I wanted to share a story with you guys. You may or may not have heard about this, but earlier today a tour helicopter crashed with a small plane over the Hudson River in New York. The reason I bring this story up is because almost immediately tweets of what had just happened where sent to the internet masses via twitter. While I hope that these guys called 911 before sending out tweets on TwitterBerry, I think that this situation completely embodies the way that news intake has moved in this day and age. Even CNN has embraced the use of iReport, their program where individuals like you and me send in news stories. As I type this, the main picture on the CNN article of this story is from an iReporter. I think that this is a great move for media and while some may aruge that leaving news reporting to the masses leaves the door wide open for bias regarding the interpretation of the story, I think that when it comes down to the barebone facts of what just occured, anyone could report fairly accurately. I'm curious to see where media and news reporting moves in the future.

Let me know what you think in the comments. Until next time.
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